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Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Fashionable Conversation

Sometimes conversation should be like fashion.   

How you ask?  

I believe it was CoCo Channel who advised us to (paraphrase) get dressed, put on your accessories and take off one thing.  

I apply that to conversation and say, When speaking, think about all you're saying but don't say everything.

Not all your accessories have to be worn at once.   

Not everything that comes to mind has to come out of your mouth.

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

So What To Do!

These are the days when you don't know whether you're coming or going.   The days when one thing runs right into another.   The days you depend on the alarm, the beep of the clock or someone tugging on your arm to snap you back into reality and keep you moving along to the next task.   This is depression and this is how it works.

You wake up in the morning hoping that you opening your eyes is really just a bed dream and that you'll be able to stay there forever...or hoping that everyday is Sunday so you don't have to get up and accomplish much.    As the day goes on you wonder why you even got out of bed....was it worth it or would you have been better off just laying their as your bones and muscles take on the shape of the dips and crevices that have formed in the mattress.   Food doesn't even seem to matter because it really doesn't bring any comfort any more.   Honestly, it doesn't taste good.   And when it does, you're already so fat that you probably shouldn't enjoy it anyway.    So you stuff yourself, knowing full well that some form of moderation should be exercised and you will, after you've finished the box of cookies.  But then you want something salty to eat, so maybe just a few chips.   Gosh, the fat and sodium content of these things is over the top. But what the heck.   I'll eat them and get them out of the way, then there's no additional temptation.  Then your left feeling worse than before you started.

My therapist said  "If you find yourself in a hole, quit digging."   It's not quite that easy.  It seems like something takes hold of me and won't let go despite my best efforts.  The may be small glimpses of light, but for the most part, it's a downward spiral.   When I am finally able to get things together again and get back up on my feet and among the living.   It seems like it was an easy thing to do, but honestly, it was not.  I've been given lots of advice but for the past four to five years, it's not been a pleasant situation, at least not on a consistent basis.

The effect on my personal life?   I can't say if and how my mood has affected it in a negative or positive way.   What I do know is that it does play a part in the way that I interact with the men in my life.    I tend to look to them for stability in my mood.  However, they are not capable of really providing mood stability since they are quite often the cause of some of the moodiness that I encounter.

So what to do.   We'll figure it out.

Friday, May 22, 2015

Food Adventures - Vol. 2 - It runs in the Family

It's no secret that I struggle with my weight.  The main reason I love food!    But I come by it honestly, I think my family is a clan of foodies, whether we all know it or not.   We have a knack for food

This past weekend, I visited my cousin to pick up a plant she had for my mom.   Of course when I got there there was food involved.

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Stop! Smell the Flowers

Don't ever get so busy and preoccupied with the work of making and maintaining a life that you don't take a few minutes to stop, look, smell and appreciate the flowers, especially the ones growing in your own life. Even if it's just the changing leaves that draws your attention, there's something there at which to marvel. 

Life is fragile and tomorrow...

Saturday, April 4, 2015

Now What?

March was really a month of transitions.

1)  I wrote everyday except the few days Howard and Sam were here.  Family first.
2) I went through and am still processing a breakup that I never anticipated.  I'll write more about that later when I'm totally comfortable with it's terms.

So now what?

April I'm pushing to put some changes in action.  

1)  I'll be working on  few things around the house - some painting, essential maintenance and continued decluttering.   It's amazing how much stuff you accumulate over the years.   For example, a few weeks ago after my last 5K race, I had a sudden surge of energy and cleaned out every cupboard , except on in the kitchen and cleaned off the counter tops.   This netted 4 bags of items to donate to a worthy charity.   This is not a big kitchen, but I'm really glad I did it.   I'll be working getting the dining room arranged with the new table I purchased...then there are the chairs I want to cover that I need to find fabric for.   I think I can do this in the month of April.

2)  Personal Improvement comes next on the list.   I'll be focusing few areas...physical/health improvement, spiritual improvement and scoping out some career opportunities while continuing to write.

So that's the plan for April...let's see how it goes.

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

31 Days of Adventure: Day 31 - The End, An $11 Veggie Burger and The Release Party


Well, it's the end of the month and what a month it's been. I've had great time celebrating the month of my birth: lots of great food, a great birthday trip, a little heartbreak, some shopping, great times with friends, it's just been a great month. Thank you all for indulging me and bearing with me....Sorry if I bored you at times.

Today was a great day, a great way to end the month. It started with me realizing that I had accidental coordination - the pedicure that I had on Sunday matched the dress I wore today. It's not that hard since there was pink involved...but it was interesting because the exact shades....hmmmm!


Then my March work bud, and I went to lunch at Cheeseburger Bobby's in Norcross. We asked up front about special of the day - nothing; Birthday month special - nothing. Two for one special - nothing. We conceded that there was no discount available. My lunch mate ordered a Cheeseburger with french fries - she wanted greasy to end the month! I ordered the veggie burger, but asked if I could have it prepared like the Carolina Burger without the bacon...this would be Cheddar Cheese, Cole Slaw, BBQ sauce, it just sounded so yummy and fries. T.hen I got the shock of the month $11+. What?!! I didn't quite understand since the beef version of this was $7.99 It was explained to me that the $4.99 Veggie Burger was required to have everything else added on and now cost more than the original burger! Here's how the dialogue went:

Me: "Why? What?"

Lawrence the Cashier: "The Veggie Burger is a set price and everything (Cheddar Cheese, Coleslaw, BBQ Sauce is an add on)

Me: "The add on's cost more than the burger? So the Veggie Burger cost more than the beef? I can't just swap out the Veggie Pattie for the beef burger? It's not even a really good veggie burger. It seems that it should be the same price or maybe less!"

Lawrence the Cashier; "No, you can't swap out the pattie for the burger. Everything is an add on."

"Guy at the Side": Oh what I do sometimes is get the bun and fill it with the veggies."

Me: "Does that cost less?"

"Guy at the Side": "No, it's the same price as the Veggie Burger"

Me: "So I would do that why? I will have the plain Veggie Burger and Fries"(mumbling at this point - "Reason #638 why I pack my own lunch - March was just a celebratory month")

Now maybe I'm becoming cheap as I mature, but this just didn't make sense to me. After all of this I did enjoy my lunch which cost less than $10. And have enough veggies from the fixin's bar to make another sandwich if I choose to.



For the past couple of weeks I've been walking around with a little extra baggage that I've been trying to get rid of. I'd planned to have a Release Party a little earlier in the month but could never get around to it. The Release Party is supposed to be a physical representation of what I've already resolved in my head to do - release some stuff so I can move on.

So after my "exciting lunch" we went to select a few balloons to release, symbolically letting go of some stuff that we've both been holding onto for a while.

I chose the following:

1) A smiley face, which I decided to keep at my desk...after all I need a reminder to "Be Happy".

2) A Happy Birthday Monkey - symbolically getting the monkey off my back

3) And a red heart - symbolically releasing things that were weighing heavy on my heart.

Lunch mate got a red heart and loaded all her stuff on that one balloon.

As I was getting ready to leave work I wrote on my balloons with the stuff that I needed to let go and we headed out. As we were deciding where to release our stuff, the wind picked up and was actually blowing the balloons side if we wouldn't be able to get rid our our stuff. So we sat at a picnic table and talked about the things we wanted to let go and then it was time. Lunch mate went first...her balloon got stuck in a tree for a few minutes. It released itself and then got stuck in another tree before finally heading for the open sky. Maybe that means something - but I don't want to read anything into it....This is a release party. Then it was my turn. I let the monkey go first...releasing a bunch of "monkey on my back" issues. Then it was the hearts time to fly. I have to admit although it was only symbolic, it felt good as we watched them float out of sight.

On the way out of the park we saw a beautiful blooming tree. It reminded me that there are cycles in life. Sometimes we blossom or bloom and stretch to reach new heights. During the year if there is a period where we seem dormant, it's OK, just regroup until the blooming cycle comes again, it's fall or winter.

31 Days of Adventure: Day 30 - Chicken

Today, I ate chicken.

That is all!

Monday, March 30, 2015

31 Days of Adventure: Days 27 and 28 - A Show of Friendship and a Little Adventure

I've noticed a few distinct phases in adult life. One of the most painful is laying to rest loved one. I don't think we're ever completely ready for someone to pass, no matter how sick they may be or what pain they are enduring. This weekend, several of us from work traveled to support a friend as he laid his mother to rest. While we never met his mother, we know her son and realize that in the true spirit of friendship, we had to lay aside whatever other concerns we had in order to give the support and encouragement our presence would provide. It was in this setting and with a spirit of friendship that we left Atlanta on Friday afternoon. And what an adventure we had.

The first two hours were spent just trying to get out of Atlanta! 75 South on a Friday when Spring Breaks are still being taken...just two words: NIGHT MARE! It was stop and go, nearly bumper to bumper for quite a while. Just about an hour after we were able to maintain a pretty steady cruising speed, it was time to eat and we were just in Cordele at Golden Corral.   Despite my co-pilots incorrect GPS directions, we made it to Golden Corral. This was a natural choice since it offered a variety and we all have diverse eating preferences. After a dinner, which included one of the best salads I've had in a while, it was time to continue our trip. 

 We arrived in Jacksonville at around 11:30 Friday night located the church where the services would be held and began our search for a hotel room.

Yes! We flew by the seats of our collective pants and didn't book ahead of time. The first 5 or 6 places we reached out to? Booked! Booked! Booked! Who knew that Jacksonville was such a hopping place. When we asked why everything was booked, the response we received was normal traffic and maybe spring break. Just when we were about to give up a room was found.

Finally!  The Sheraton was approximately 20 minutes south of Jacksonville, so our travel coordinator asked that they hold the room for us and off we went. It was the last room available at that hotel. When we got there we were presented with a single king sized bed. At that point it didn't matter, we were road weary. I did begin to think that I should probably add an air mattress to go along with the blankets that I always have in the car. So we made due. The good points were: 2 of us are short, the room was a handicapped accessible room which provided some extra maneuvering room and we're pretty laid back ladies. So #1 candidate pulled up the chair and two hassocks and with the extra blankets provided, made a chase lounge. #2, the tall one slept on one side of the bed...Short #3 slept across the bottom of the bed with an extra blanket and short # 4 slept on the other side of the bed. We set up a bathroom schedule for the morning, that would allow everyone to have some undisturbed time and still be able to leave in enough time to get to the church on time. It was a perfect set up and everyone managed to get some sleep.

We hadn't told our friend that we were coming to the funeral and two additional folks from the office showed up as well. He said it really meant a lot to him and his aunt was happy to know that he had a support group in Atlanta. It was a very nice service that focused on celebrating his mother's life and was actually encouraging and uplifting despite the somber occasion. After visiting briefly with the family, we changed and began our trip back to Atlanta.

We decided to return via Savannah instead of I-75 which would allow me about a half hour of beach therapy and we were able to stop in Statesboro to visit one of our sons who attends college at Georgia Southern. On the way to Tybee Island, we passed exits on I-75 that I've mentally added to my "to visit" list for later in the year.

The beach although windy and a bit blustery, relaxed me and provided that 30 minutes of ocean therapy, that I need periodically. We took the chairs that are always in the car and sat out for a few minutes. Our next stop...Statesboro. What started off as a quick side trip to say hi to a son, ended a few hours later once we had eaten, rested, refueled and taken care of a bit of business.

Totally exhausted by the time we got to Macon, I turned the last leg of the trip over to my co-pilot to get us home. This took a bit longer than originally planned because since true to form, I-75 presented us with a traffic jam as we got close to Atlanta.

We finally made it back to our starting spot at about 1:00 am Sunday morning, the office parking lot, joking that we'd just take our blankets and sleep under our desks since we were so tired. All in all, despite complete exhaustion, strange sleeping arrangements, a chatty misdirecting GPS and a few side trips, we are thankful for travelling blessings which resulted in an uneventful and safe adventure while having the opportunity to support one of our own as he faced a life transition. It was a great way to spend a weekend and to my travelling mates....I'd roll with you again!

31 Days of Adventure: Day 29 - Breakfast, Pampering and a long nap

I slept a lot yesterday....when I got home at 1:30 in the morning to realize that I had turned off the heat at the end of "fake spring" last week and left town when the temperature dropped into the 30's...I was too cold to sleep. Hot chocolate, space heater, all the blankets and an hour later I was ready to go to sleep and did a pretty good job of it. Then I could start the day

I met up with some good buddies for breakfast at Egg Harbor Cafe. The food was yummy, but the company was the highlight of the morning.

At high noon, 6 of us continued our day and had various pampering services at Q Nails, just a few doors down from the breakfast spot. Had a great time, chatting and being on the receiving end of some pampering. I even got a manicure - which is rare because I do so much with my hands that the mani is not worth it for me.

A quick stop at Whole Foods to pick up a few things for the week, was kinda worthless since I went home and got right on the sofa and Zzzzzz! I woke up to hand over the laptop that I had run away with, LOL! took the night meds and back to sleep. For the first time in months, all of my post 8pm adventures were of the dreaming type. I slept right through the night.

Great day!